Changes
by elainefr
Summary: This is my first FanFiction...ever. I based this off of the wonderful Daria. I loved the show so much. This is set some time during the later part of her college life. I hope that you all enjoy this little story. Oh yeah, I don't own or make money off of Daria. Not mine and probably never will be. So that is my disclaimer.
1. Chapter 1

Changes…..

"Why didn't you tell me?" There was no anger in his voice, in fact, she couldn't tell what he was feeling and that troubled her. There was a time when she could read him over the phone and he could do the same with her.

"I didn't want you to know," she stated honestly. She hated that he wasn't facing her.

"Because you were ashamed….." he said with a calm that was contrary to all that he was feeling.

He turned away from the winters view from the window of her apartment to face her standing figure once again. When he'd come to visit her, this was the last thing that he'd expected to happen. He looked at her now. She was no longer the shy introvert that he'd the pleasure of getting to know as she grew into her own sense of self and womanhood. He had watched her grow and that had inspired him to change some of his slacker ways. Seeing how his sister and her challenged one another, in their own sarcastic ways, to do better and be better made him look at himself and start to make some actual decisions regarding life instead of letting things come as they may. He had found with a bit of trial and error that he had passions that helped to contribute towards making his love of music better. Cooking had become a wonderful substitute for getting completely hammered. While the alcohol would sometimes allow him some arguably passable lyrics to spew forth, cooking let his mind focus on other things so that when the muse hit, it was with full force and most of the times, new and exciting things.

"I wasn't-, I am not ashamed. I wouldn't have done it if I were ashamed." She stood stock still with a defiant raised chin. They'd always been straight with one another and she was determined that this wouldn't be any different. "I did what I did because I wanted the money quick and easy. It's not like I want to do it for the rest of my life or anything."

"It was easy for you to have strangers ogling you while you were naked?" he asked of a raised brow, his anger slightly brimming below the surface.

"It's a job okay?" she said angrily.

"No! IT'S NOT OKAY!" he shot back angrily. "I know it's your body and all of that crap, but I think that I had a right to know what was going on.

"Why?!" she shot back just as heatedly. "Like you said, it's my body and I decide what I do and whom I do it for."

All the while that they had been shouting they'd moved closer and closer to one another, until they were inches apart. She still only came to his shoulder and under other circumstances she would have found these kinds of contact almost blush worthy, but right now she was just too angry. He grabbed her by the forearms unsure of whether he wanted to shake some sense into her or kiss her until they both forgot what they were fighting about. His grip was firm, but not brutal and she found herself wanting to curl up and forget about this whole mess, but in the back of her mind she knew that they had to work through this thing one way or another.

"Why?" He didn't have a definitive answer for that. He knew that they'd gotten closer and that there were feelings there between them- there had always been that, but they had never made any formal statements. Hell, he hadn't thought that they'd needed one. "We never needed to say things before." He defended himself.

"Maybe we should have," she conceded letting her anger ease slightly, though they both still held the fire in their eyes.

"What would you have said?" his voice was husky and filled with emotion.

"What would you have said?"

He let his hands slide down her arms so that he now held her hands. They looked at one another both trying to gage the others thoughts.

"I should have made a move or something." He spoke first. "Should have let you know how I felt, but I thought….."

"You thought that I knew, just like I thought that you knew." She took a strengthening breath before continuing. "I've had a thing for you- a crush since I first met you. Then we became friends and it became so very much more. For the longest time I was so afraid of slipping up and saying something that would mess that up. I didn't want to lose the only other friend besides your sister that I had, so I tried to push those feelings aside." She'd managed, barely, to keep eye contact with him until she was finished.

He squeezed her hands gently and she felt rather than saw the smile mixed in so many things that she saw in his eyes.

"I think a part of me knew, but I guess I figured that someone like you being so smart and going places in life, would never really want someone like me for real, so I just chalked it up to a teenage crush. Then we became friends and the closer we became, the more my respect for you grew. You were always a force to be reckoned with, I've seen the way that you could rip apart someone with your words but you never made me feel stupid when we talked. I really appreciated how patient you were with me sometimes."

"I think that I was just grateful to be in your presence most of the time, but I never thought of you as stupid."

"I remember when I found out about you and Tom. That's when I knew that it was just respect or even admiration that I felt for you. I was angry for my sister, but I felt betrayed by you."

And there it was, she thought, the awful, bitter truth. He had felt betrayed by her once and now again after last night.

"I'm not saying this to make you feel bad," he wanted to erase the hurt in her eyes, but he had to be honest as well. "I got over all of that, though because the thought of not having you in my life was worse than having you in my life with _him._ I tried keeping to myself as much as I could back then, I just wanted to be near you, in case you needed me or something. I was so proud of you and Janey when you graduated and went to college. Part of me felt like I grew with you, but at first I had no options, but then you guys would come home some times and I lived for those times at first. I remember one time over the summer you guys had come home for the weekend on your way to go to Paris with that studies abroad trip that Janey had won; I was proud, but envious too. That was when I began to challenge myself to do more. You guys really made me want to do more. You made me want to be the kind of man that you could actually see yourself with."

"You have always been such a huge part of my life that I couldn't imagine my life without you or Jane. I hate to think what kind of person I would be without you two. Jane has helped me come to know myself on my own terms. She has also made it possible for me to be more comfortable with myself with…..men too. I didn't think that she and I would ever get past what I did, but we did and Lord help us we became even closer. She encouraged me to not close myself up as I tended to. I could see her point; I mean the only two guys that I had ever expressed interest in were her brother and her boyfriend. I think she believed that the reason that Tom and I got together was in large part because I hadn't had any experience with any other males before that and who knows, maybe she's right. I just wish that I had handled things much differently…..for everyone's sake. I remember coming to see you on breaks and during the summers and every time we did, there was some nagging part of me that let my mind linger on a what if scenario with you, but you were building your life so beautifully, I was so proud of how you were handling things on your own terms, and I didn't want to disrupt that. Also, by that time you and I had formed a friendship that I really cherished. I still do." She finished quietly forcing her eyes to stay locked with his.

"When did you start working there?" his voice was steady and she wasn't able to tell if he was angry or hurt, but guessed it was a bit of both.

"A few months ago."

"What all do you do there?" He had to know, no matter what, he thought. That way he wouldn't be blindsided.

"Just what you saw, I don't dance on the stage or anything like that. I dance in that box and I go home." She made to pull away, but he wouldn't let her.

"Why?"

"Well at first it was to make some extra cash for a new laptop and my friend Barry was just opening the place and wanted a variety of tastes. He wanted to keep it more along the lines of a gentleman's club, really upscale. He never asked me to do anything that I was uncomfortable with and he said that I was a good draw for the customers," she finished proudly.

"So you were okay with taking off your clothes for strangers?" he asked with that hereditary raised brow that she had grown to know so well over the years.

"I didn't really think of who was on the other side of the glass."

"What _did_ you think about?"

"You….."


	2. Chapter 2

"You got one more private show in room six," Barry said looking down at his friend that looked oddly alluring with heels on her normally 5'3" frame. She was a quiet one, he thought looking at her. Her unwillingness to fully believe in her attractiveness only added to it. He was quite fortunate that she had agreed to come and work for him. She had added class to his place and to the other girls' way of thinking, otherwise it might have turned into just another strip club. It had actually been her who had talked to the girls about how they shouldn't lose their principles and remember why they were there in the first place. Most needed the money for their kids and school and others just liked the idea of show off what nature gave them. Either way she helped to ease everyone into a comfortable place of conduct for business and Barry was eternally grateful. He had all kinds of upscale business clientele that came in just for the private viewings. She had developed a number that was so sexy when she did it, that she had acquired several regulars that came specifically to see her and for the money that he charged them, they were getting a tantalizing treat. She didn't show a lot, but the way she unveiled the stuff that she did show and the lingerie, well _any_ man would be weak. Maybe it was the way she lost herself in that little erotic dance, he thought. "It's a 'special' request." He stated with a chuckle.

"Okay, let me change right quick," she said cinching her robe and heading to the changing room that she shared with three other girls. She went and found what she was looking for. It was one of her more expensive and provocative lace numbers that she used for the 'special requests'. Special requests meant clients with deep pockets and that meant an extra hundred bucks just for that show. She headed to her back entrance with the large fans that she used. For these performances she always felt that in order to give them what they were paying for, she had to sell it, and so she just pretended that she was dancing for him. It was all about fantasy anyway, she thought as she took center stage.

"Why pay all this money when we could just watch the girls on stage?"

"Come on Trent it'll be fun and this girl, believe me, she's worth every cent and then some."

"It's your dime." Trent said with a shrug and entered the room where the owner held the door for him.

"Just sit back and enjoy yourself. I'll catch up to you afterwards at the bar."

He called behind Trent.

Trent sat back against the plush leather sofa. He didn't see what the big deal was, he'd been to strip clubs before, granted this one was a lot nicer than any of the others that he'd been in but it all amounted to the same thing to him. It had been odd to be in town to visit and to run into one of the last people that he'd expected to see. The music start slow and he immediately recognized it as the instrumental to The Weeknd's The Knowing. The room was up lit with a softened spotlight on a chair in the center. The woman sat with her back to him and as the music progressed she extended an extremely high heeled leg and ran a hand down it and back up again as though she didn't know that he were there. The cascade of her long brown hair was forced to be drug up her leg while exposing the pale flesh of her neck. He wasn't aware that he had sat up straighter and leaned in slightly. She stood slowly and raised large black feathered fans to cover her body. She kept her head strategically turned away from him while removing one fan and exposing a barely clad body part and replacing it with the other fan. He could see what the fuss was about. Her controlled method of exposing just enough to tease was captivating to say the least. She danced steadily gyrating to the provocative music and slowly laid one fan on the floor in time to the music. She played sexy peek-a-boo with the other and Trent could swear that she was dancing for him. The song was drawing to a close and she let the fan drop to the floor and stood so that he could glimpse the black lace bra and matching panty that she wore before the curtain began to slowly fall. She turned away and unbuttoned the bra letting it fall to the floor so that he only caught a glimpse of her naked back and panty clad bottom as she left the now darkened stage. She hurried into the robe that she kept off stage and cinched it tightly before retrieving her bra and fans and making her way back to her dressing room.

"Another private show?" Marie, one of the girls that she shared a room with asked unnecessarily. "Damn, girl make that paper."

She smiled modestly at her friends' exuberance. Marie was gorgeous with waist length black hair, exotic green eyes, and a body built to be in a bikini as she put it. She was determined to be a pinup girl. She liked being pretty and didn't mind saying so, but she didn't do it to make others feel bad, that's why she was so likeable. She was just very sure of herself.

"Well, I am off for the evening and in need of a shower."

"I'll catch you later then." Marie continued to put on her make up after giving her friend a quick wave goodbye.

"Night, Bruce," she said to the body guard at the door as she exited.

"Night."

She turned opened her car and was about to get in when she heard a voice.

"Hey Daria."

She turned with a rising sense of dread pouring over her. There he stood in wash of light spilling from the parking lot lighting. It took her several seconds before she could say anything.

"Hey Trent."


	3. Chapter 3

"Come on Trent, get the lead out," Jane yelled from the car.

Her brother rounded the corner from the back of the house at his usual laid back state, though his face read of a hurriedness that his body couldn't seem to emulate.

"It's supposed to be a relaxing day at the beach, what's the rush?" Daria commented from the backseat where she sat reclining.

Jane regarded her with an amused semi sour look through the rearview mirror before speaking.

"I am anxious to get this day of 'fun' underway. I mean how often does one get to drag _you_ to the beach?"

"Mmm….you do have a point."

"A point about what?" Trent said getting in the car.

"Daria is just anxious to show off her new bikini and lip gloss today is all," Jane said with a smirk aimed at her friend through the rearview mirror again.

"I figured minimal clothing would be necessary for when I scalp you," Daria quipped around a scowl.

Trent took in their sparring with an inward smile. He had missed this, he had missed them. When Jane had told him that they would be back in town for most of the summer, he hadn't known what to expect, but it seems the time away had not made them strangers as he had feared. They were both maturing into the sophisticated young women that he knew that they would be. Truth be told, he hadn't been too sure how well Jane would do in school, academics weren't her strong suit, but that was only because she wanted to concentrate on her art. She was doing well in school and in areas that weren't only art, and that gave her confidence that he could hear in her voice when they spoke on the phone and see in her face whenever they saw each other . Daria had flourished academically as he knew she would, but more than that, she had become more comfortable around guys- around him. He knew that his sisters' boldness was in large part to thank for that. Daria had actually participated in conversations with him and the band without being goaded into it by Jane or using that razor sharp tongue to cut the people down as a defense. Her smiles were still a rare occasion, but when she did smile, it was a treat like no other for him. They still had their own 'special' talks that had brought them closer and he had gotten into the habit of calling her at least once a week as well as private chatting online. Heck, he was making a few changes in his own life. He had even taken a cooking class and liked it.

"Aw Janey, I thought you were in a rush." Trent reclined in the seat to letting it back so that he was practically lying down.

Jane glanced at him and then Daria again and said nothing as they sped off to pick up Jesse on the way.

At the beach…..

"Come on Daria, you can't just sit there and read at the beach. You could do that at home." Jane stood over her friends reclining form.

"Not that it's any of your business, but I just wanted to finish this chapter before immersing myself in this day of fun." She placed the book back into her beach bag that was on the towel beneath the huge umbrella where she sat. "Okay, I'm ready."

"Where's your suit?" Jane asked around an amused smile.

Daria recognized the dare, but had been expecting it. She stepped out of her shorts and pulled the large tee shirt over her head, revealing a simple black one piece swimsuit. It was simple, but flattering.

"Oooh, la la," Jane said in a low voice, "I know someone that will be pleased." She turned and went back over to where Trent and Jesse were. As expected, Jane and Jesse headed for the water while Trent came towards her.

"Hey Daria."

"Hey, Trent. Jane didn't have to send you to fetch me or anything," Daria said brushing off sand from her leg that wasn't really there. "You don't have to always come and get me just 'cause Jane says so."

"Whoa, what's with the anger vibe?" Trent's eyes were the only sign that recognized her change in mood.

"I just….." at a sudden loss for words around him, a feeling that she thought that she had outgrown, she turned away lost in embarrassment.

"Hey, what is it?" Trent leaned in closely and turned her back to face him. He threw an arm around her shoulders and they began to walk. After a while, he felt her relax a bit.

"Your sister can be a bit much sometimes." Daria stated quietly.

"Mmm….." He knew what she meant, but felt that she needed to work it out herself.

"I know that she likes to just…..but I don't." She chanced a look at him and saw that his face held the same relaxed expression that comforted her so much. "I like to just do things my way and at my pace. I think that she forgets that sometimes." She fell quiet then, waiting for his commentary.

"Hey Daria?"

"Yeah Trent?"

"We're at a beach."

She smiled. His knack for stating the obvious could always turn things around for her.

"Today is about fun….." she barely had the words out before she felt him swoop her up and carried her running to the water to join the others.

They splashed one another and the other guys joined in after a while. It was just what they had all needed. Daria had even managed to loosen and even openly joked with Max when Jesse had dumped a bucket of sand on him. Max had splashed her and she had used Trent as a shield, which meant he got the bucket of sand meant for her. Jane had snuck up behind Jesse and got him and both of the girls had proceeded to race back to where the sandcastle that Jane had built and their stuff was at.

"You guys are not getting off that easy," Max proclaimed with affirmatives from the rest of them.

"You can't do anything now, we made it to base," Jane declared and stamped her foot.

"Says who?" Jesse challenged.

"Says anyone who has ever been to the beach to frolic," she said with an air of authority on the subject.

Daria waited to see if they were buying what Daria knew to be a load of crap coming from Jane.

"Frolic?" Jesse crossed his arms over his muscular chest. "I'll show you frolic," he made to grab for her but Jane took off and from there the chase around the beach was on. Max and Nick had started talking to a couple of girls that were a few feet over from them, so that left Trent looking at Daria. She was standing there looking at him and seemed somewhat unsure of what to say or do.

"Sorry about the sand. I didn't mean for it to get you. I just didn't want it to get me," she said somewhat sheepishly.

"You know," he said moving closer as he spoke, "it was worth it to see you having a good time out there."

"Thanks."

"But I still must have my revenge," he scooped her up before she had a chance to yelp.

"Oh, that's cold!" Daria yelped playfully. She couldn't believe that he had dumped her back in the water. She tried to hit at him but only managed to splash herself.

"Careful or you'll fall," Trent said laughing at her flailing about.

"I'll get you for this Trent," she declared trying unsuccessfully to smooth her hair back.

"Here let me help." He wound his fingers through her hair, using his fingers as a comb and swooping it towards the back. "See, all better." His hand still caressed the back of head. "I had to or the guys would never let me hear the end of it."

She could see his lips moving, but his words just floated around. He was rather mesmerizing with the water glistening off the slim build of his body.

_Cool it, you are most definitely not that same high school girl with a crush anymore, she admonished herself. Pay attention and act normal._

"Mm…."

"Let's walk for a minute," Trent suggested with his hand still at the nape of her neck where he had let it rest when he had gotten done helping her with her hair. They turned and fell in a slow step with one another walking along the edge of the beach. There were no words and Daria was acutely aware that he had not removed his hand and was now making a slight circular motion with the pad of his thumb on the back of her neck where her hairline and neck met. Trent had not removed his hand intentionally. It was a rare thing when she allowed anyone that kind of proximity and he liked it. He had found himself wanting to spend more and more time with her lately, but figuring out the best way was completely stumping him. So when Jane had suggested a day of fun at the beach with the gang, he had jumped at it. They found themselves standing in a private part of the beach looking at each other. She went willingly when she felt the hand in her hair pulling her slightly forward. Their kiss was soft, gentle, and felt like a promise of more to come. They didn't pull away when the kiss ended; instead they stood still face to face looking at each other. She lightly traced his cheekbone trying to memorize the feel of his skin and the way he was looking at her in this moment. He still had the one hand in her hair and the other had wound its way around her waist to bring her closer and slightly up at an angle. Neither wanted to move, so they didn't until Nick and Max's voices calling them broke them from the momentary sanctuary that they'd found with one another.


	4. Chapter 4

She didn't know how long they had stood there looking at one another after she had made her little slip about thinking of him while she was working. She had retreated to the kitchen under the premise of making some coffee. She worked mechanically knowing what to do, but keenly aware that she had left a conversation that needed to be had in the other room. Trent wanted answers and though she didn't technically have to give them to him, she felt as though it was past time that they hashed through some things. They had never even addressed the kiss that they had shared two summers ago. For all she knew he'd forgotten about it or dismissed it as a summer thing. They had, from her perspective, grown so close since then. Their talks could be about anything and she felt like she could be herself around him more and more, but what if it had all been in her head, she thought. She liked making up stories and this was a very common one, she had turned a simple summer kiss into a full blown relationship. If that was the case, then why would he be reacting so strongly to her job?

_Well I'm sure he isn't worried about me corrupting Jane, she thought to herself with a smirk._

"What's so funny?"

Trent's voice made her jump slightly. She hadn't seen him come in. He came to stand before her and gently took the cups that she held from her and placed them on the table.

"Just tell me…..are you happy?"

His voice was quiet and in the face of such genuine concern, she felt taken aback.

"I do okay." The statement was true enough. She did what she felt was necessary to get by. He was looking at her, patiently waiting for more. She licked her lips before continuing. "School is really good, I am doing well in my classes and I even enjoy interacting with some of my classmates, so all in all I think that I am fine." She concluded looking at him.

_She didn't say that she was happy, he noted._

"About what you said in there…..about what you think about when you're….." he found it somewhat amusing that his mentioning it would cause her to blush.

"Yeah, about that, I already told you about my little crush on you way back when, so I use that as my inspiration to feel….." she took a step back and sat at the table.

"Feel what…..sexy?" Trent was confused by the distant look in her eyes.

"I suppose, but mainly, just….. to feel." She drank some of the coffee, welcoming its familiar warmth. She gestured for him to sit and once he did, she continued. "Being close to people has never been my thing. It's not something that comes naturally to me like most people. Don't get me wrong, I like having my own space and privacy, but contrary to popular belief, I am not opposed to having…..something with someone." She spoke in a clipped, begrudging tone, as though putting her feelings into actual words out loud made it painful. She chanced a glance at him and found him in what she would describe as contemplative silence.

"How did you and this Barry meet?"

"He was in my free writing class. We worked on a project together and found that after the project was done, we wanted to remain friends. The Burlesque club was a dream of his since he found his dad's Penthouse magazines. He is a pretty smart guy, and I looked over the business proposal before he presented it to his dad and it was solid. He has been doing quite well and none of the women working there feel used. It's their choice and there is never any pressure to do anything on the side. I think that this is the best scenario that I can think of anyway, of sex being sold in the right way." She noted the shift in his chair so that he was now reclining away from her. "He and I are friends," she stated firmly, hoping that he would understand.

"So you don't do this regularly?"

"No….." her heart felt somewhat heavy because there was so much hope in that question. "But if I did…would that make a difference?"

He scratched the back of his head in much the same way that he did when he was trying to work out the kinks in a lyric. He was in a bit of a box, because no matter what he said, he felt like it would be the wrong thing.

"I'd be lying if I said that your being there didn't bother me," he could tell by the way she had repositioned herself that she was preparing for the worst. "It's just that, it's you and I can't see you doing…..anything like that," he finished lamely.

She looked at him hard for a few moments before speaking.

"I beg to differ with that statement, since that's exactly what you did."

Her sarcastic quip held no humor.

"You know what I mean," he tried to explain.

"I-" she started, but a sudden realization seemed to hit her and she closed her mouth abruptly, stood, and took her cup to the sink and started to wash it out…..thoroughly.

"I just meant that you're so smart and I never thought that you would do…..that line of work. I guess I figured that you would do your writing in one way or another."

_He can't see you doing that line of work because he can't see you as a "Spsexual person, she thought. She was glad that her back was to him so that he couldn't see her face. Get it together Morgendorffer, she admonished herself, before turning back to him._

"I still write and go to school, I even work part time, and yes I work at a Burlesque Establishment sometimes. My ambitions are still there, I've just incorporated some new things into my life." Daria busied herself cleaning the counter tops and whatever else was near her to avoid looking him in the eye. "So are you still coming up with new things to cook?" She shifted the conversation. She had been prepared for him to be surprised, shocked even, but she hadn't counted on him rejecting her.

_What happened? Trent thought watching her. We were talking things out and all of a sudden she's talking about that cooking class that I took. He knew that Daria liked to take her time to do things and he wanted to make sure that she knew that he would always respect her. _

"Yeah, I've been trying some new things," as he spoke he could feel the rift between them widening. He felt as though she were just going through the motions of being polite. He had actually felt closer to her on their last phone conversation, more than he did right now sitting in the same room with her.

They made only the barest amount of small talk, before she excused herself for bed, feigning tiredness. Once he'd left, she allowed the weight of the evening to catch up to her. Long after she'd showered and laid down for bed, her thoughts still plagued her.

_It had all been in my head, she thought. For someone that's supposed to be so smart, you sure are stupid._

"Janey, call me when you get this," Trent left the message on his sisters cell phone once he'd gotten back to his hotel room.

_Janey, why the hell didn't you at least warn me?_

Trent grabbed a shower and flopped back on the bed. This was not how it was supposed to be. He had planned on surprising Daria and spending some time together, just the two of them. Things had shifted between them tonight and though she hadn't said it, he _knew_ that it had shifted for the worse. Tomorrow, he thought, he would see her tomorrow and fix everything.


	5. Chapter 5

Later that night…..

"Hello."

"Hey dad….." Daria held the phone unsure if she wanted to proceed on what she was now viewing as a suicide mission. "What's going on?"

"I'm making my world famous chili. How are you doing in school kiddo?" Jake's bright and cheery voice warmed at hearing his daughter on the phone.

"School's fine dad….I just wanted to check in with you." She cleared her throat and gave herself a mental shake. "Are you at least _trying _to eat how the doctor told you to sometimes?"

"I _may_ have taken liberties with some things, but I do okay."

His chuckle warmed her from a distance and she smiled inwardly that something as ordinary as this conversation could make her feel better after the emotional beating that she had felt that she'd taken last night.

"So how does this 'world famous chili' fit into that regiment or is it one of your liberties?"

"Well, it has vegetables in it," he defended lamely. "Honey, are you okay?"

"Yeah, sure I am. I should be going though. I have to work soon," she lied.

"Are you-"

"Tell mom I said Hi. I'll talk to you later dad, bye."

"Honey?" He stopped her from hanging up the phone and she put it back to her ear.

"Yeah, dad?"

"We- I miss you sweetie, bye."

She hung up the phone and slumped back in the bed against the pillows.

_What the hell is wrong with me? She thought angry with herself. In the course of one evening and a conversation with Trent, you go from independent and empowered female to a quivering cliché of needing a man's approval. Get it together and gain some control over this._

Ignoring the flashing red light from the answering machine, she picked up her notebook from her nightstand and started to write. She wrote well into the night, until she allowed sleep to claim her.

_I miss you too dad and why the hell is he making chili this late? She thought as she drifted off._


	6. Chapter 6

Daria sat in the booth of the café waiting for her guest. This whole Trent- situation was getting to her and she needed to have it settled in her mind. It was a bit of a blow to her ego she admitted to herself.

_Did I really construct an entire relationship from a simple kiss that happened so long ago? Of course you did, this latest mess is proof of that. That kiss that had left such a profound effect on you did the same for him, but in the opposite way. It must have just confirmed that he could only think of you as a friend. But the talks, they were real and we became close. Just not in the way that you wanted. Even if he hadn't thought of her like that before, he had seen her show, why didn't he see her differently now?_

She sipped at her tea and tried to still the thoughts that flew threw her head. There was a part of her that she thought that she had conquered. This whole thing had messed with that. She thought that she had come to terms with the part of her that had been insecure about her sexuality, but apparently there was still something that she hadn't dealt with. Dealing with this, she felt, meant looking back to where she felt it had started…..

Freshman Year at Raft…..

"Have you given any thought to the direction that our paper should take?" Daria asked her classmate once he had taken a seat across from her in the booth of the campus pizza place.

"Maybe a story told through the eyes of a former outcast that has found her niche in college." He took a bite out of the large slice of pizza and watched for a reaction, but of course there was none.

She gave him a once over and it did not escape her viewing that he had put on a few pounds of muscle, but not enough to be called a meat head or anything like that. He had let his hair grow out so that it was in a stylish thrown back manner that gave him a look of being well read, without being a snob – which she appreciated. The pairing was actually his idea. The teacher had told them to find someone in class to pair up with and come up with a short story. It was to give them a feel for working in a collaborative setting in the working world.

"Mm…reliving the outcast days at Lawndale High so that I can once again become an outcast here, no thank you." She said quite succinctly before eating her slice.

"Ah come on, it wasn't so bad." He said between mouthfuls.

"Not for you, you got accepted by the football team and from there, you moved on to bigger and better things," she deadpanned.

"You don't believe that do you? That I just went on to…..better things?" He looked at her now with her hair even longer than he remembered, minus the bangs. Her lovely face was framed quite nicely and the green sweater that she had paired with some dark washed denim only showed off the curves that she had, in the best of ways.

She shrugged and kept eating.

He felt compelled to defend himself for some reason.

"I was the new kid at a new school with a bunch of new people and I wanted to know everyone, but I was glad that I got to know you first." He hoped that she knew that he meant it. She had been really nice to him and he never forgot that.

She wiped her mouth and took a sip of her tea.

"I'm glad that I met you too," she admitted after a slight hesitation.

They had continued to have a genuine friendship from then on. They had gone on dates that both had enjoyed. For his part, he enjoyed her sarcastic observations and for her part she enjoyed that he seemed to still hold on to some of that innocence that he had when they'd met. They found that they enjoyed talking to one another. Daria had been happier than she had been in a very long time and Jane had noticed it as well. When Jane had inquired as to what was with the change, Daria had, only after the tiniest of prodding, shyly mentioned the rekindling of an acquaintance with an old friend. Jane had been happy for her friend and silently relieved. She loved Daria like a sister and she had seen how dismissive Daria could be of any guy that even tried to approach her. She hadn't even dated anyone since their mutual ex and that had concerned Jane, so seeing this relationship unfold was nice. Jane had also noted that this relationship didn't radiate from her, since it was not her boyfriend or brother. Daria was growing, she thought feeling a bit of pride for her friend.

"Doug and I are going to see a new exhibit Saturday. You think that you guys may want to come with?" Jane had asked her one afternoon when they were having lunch between classes.

"Um, we have plans."

Daria had avoided her friend's eyes and Jane knew that something must be up.

"Do tell?" Jane inquired.

"If you must know, he's making us dinner, at his place."

"You can have dinner any- Oh," she said mid-sentence as she just realized the emphasis Daria had place on the last part of the statement. "Wow. You guys are getting serious huh?"

Daria fidgeted before answering.

"We're good. I enjoy his company and we don't want to kill each other."

"Well that's always a bonus. Seriously though, are you….prepared for…..everything?"

"I have spoken with my doctor and taken all of the necessary precautions so I am all good." Daria answered in a voice that was a lot calmer than she actually felt.

"Okay, well cool," Jane was really happy for her friend, but surprised at the same time. Things had progressed a lot more than she had thought, but more power to her. She needed to have some fun and just because Daria and Trent couldn't get their feelings for one another together, didn't mean that she couldn't be happy with someone. "So Saturday is the big day huh?"

Daria shrugged, but Jane could see the rose of blush on her cheeks around the cup of coffee that she was now drinking.

"Can I ask you something about it?"

"I would be honored to impart my wisdom upon thee my child." Jane sat up straighter and took on the pose of a Buddha sculpture that she'd seen in her book. Daria rolled her eyes before speaking.

"What was your first time like?" She wanted to know for practical reasons like what to expect, but hearing about Jane and Tom romantically reminded Daria of a time that though she had been quite fond of Tom, she had not been as loyal a friend to Jane as she thought that she was.

"It was surprisingly sweet. I remember when I went to him, I was so angry when I came to him, and that all I wanted was to forget. He listened to me vent, and then he calmed me down and let me bawl my eyes out all night. That was when I saw him as something more than some cute guy. He was quite romantic about it with the candles and everything. It was very special."

"So you don't regret it?"

"No and even though we moved past it, he and I will always be friends."

"I didn't know that you and Tom were in contact like that."

"Tom? No, no my dear. I was talking about Jesse."

"Jesse? Oh, I thought….."

"I see what you thought, but no. Tom and I never knew each other intimately. I did think that maybe you two had….."

"Nope, it just didn't feel right." Daria admitted. She hadn't wanted to bring Tom into this, but he was a common denominator between them.

"Well that would be one reason not give in," Jane wiggled her brows suggestively, to which Daria pursed her lips. "Seriously though, I think that it's great that you two have gotten close."

Daria was glad that she and Jane had retained their friendship and especially this kind of candor. There weren't many people that she felt this open with and Jane had a way of making everything that normally worried her, seem manageable. They had continued their lunch and both had left feeling grateful to have the other in their lives.

Presently…..

"So, to what do I owe the pleasure of being summoned by you?" the young man asked Daria once he'd sat and given his order.

"I wanted to ask you something about before, about us before." She blurted before she lost her nerve.

He seemed amused by this slightly nervous side of her. She was normally so together in class and around even the most intimidating professors.

"Okay…." He urged her to continue.

"Was I- Did I- Were you attracted to me?" She finished and kept her eyes on his face so that she could gage his response.

He almost spit out his tea. That had been the last thing that he had expected her to ask him. "I would think that there was no question about that. We were _both_ in the same relationship, weren't we? Unless I should be concerned about something that I am not aware of on behalf of my masculine fortitude or-"

"No, of course not," she answered quickly. "I just thought that maybe you were in a slump or something… I wanted to know that you wanted _me_."

_Is she serious? He thought looking at her. Something was really bothering her._

He covered her hand with his and waited for her to look him in the eye.

"You have nothing to worry about in that or any other department. You are so brilliant. Those eyes pierce and those lips have just the right amount of defiant pout." He let his eyes slid over her body as he spoke; "now we have the perfect curves that nature and genetics gave you, and then we come to those incredibly sexy legs. I was smitten with you from the moment that I met you and I probably always will be. What has happened to make you question yourself like this?" His thumb was rubbing the top of her knuckles in small circles. He could tell that she wanted to tell him, but that privacy wall that she held continued to be impenetrable.

"You're a really good guy," she smiled at him.

"And you are a really good girl, but not too good," he winked at her in the playful way that made her blush.

"I'm sorry that I even bothered you, but I had to know….." she pulled back and sat up straighter. "So how are you doing?"

"I am pretty good all things considering….."

"Mmm, how're things with your folks? Did they ever come around to you coming to college?"

"They are…..coping. Dad is dealing a lot better with it than mom. She thinks that being around so many 'destructive types' will turn me into one of them."

"What do you think?"

"I am enjoying meeting the very many different kinds of people in the world. I think that they are all interesting. I don't _always_ agree with everything that everyone does, but it's my choice to do it. They respect that."

"Sounds like you have a handle on things without losing who you are." She looked at him for the first time in a long time and found that she missed talking to him like this. "Do you think that we could have coffee or something again?"

"Of course, I could never say no to you."

Their orders came and they continued their conversation in good spirits. Both felt the familiar friendship return between them and it was a welcomed feeling.

"You didn't have to walk me home. I am perfectly capable of finding my way on my own. I've only gotten lost three times."

"_This_ week, but we still have a few days left so….."

They both laughed and looked at each other for a moment. He gave her a warm hug.

"I'm glad you called me."

"Me too, thanks Ted." She kissed his cheek shyly and went into her apartment.


End file.
